Teenager Misbehaving? Do Less of THIS...
A new study shows that parents who yell at their teens are more likely to see an increase in the child's propensity to misbehave. For Moms who have a tendency to yell, this is not good news. As a Mom, I try not to resort to raising my voice until I've had to start repeating myself. Sometimes we can parent on autopilot and not even realize how much we're yelling. I know I'm guilty of that.
My rule is: I say it the first time like Jude Cleaver. If they don't hear me, I repeat myself like Rasputia from Norbit just to be sure I'm being heard loud and clear.
All jokes aside, as my children have gotten older and I've begun to realize that they need to go into the world able to problem solve and use critical thinking skills, so I've started explaining myself more and yelling less. If I want them to do something, there is always a logical reason behind my request and it's not just because I said so. They are human beings, not robots - so they need to understand the WHY. I have seen it makes a big difference.
Yes, they need to be able to respect authority, but they also need to be able to compete in the real world and they won't be able to do that if they are trained to just take commands and not question when adjustments need to be made.
Of course, there are times when my children frustrate and anger me and my voice rises a few decibels, but I've learned to take a breath and bring it down a bit. I have found that the more I communicate with my kids like they are members of the family team instead of subordinates, the more we get done around the house. Homework gets done faster and I am overall less stressed. Talking to them on an equal playing field helps them to be more accountable for themselves.
Simply put, I don't need to have all the power. I need them to be EMPOWERED, so I don't have to worry about taking care of them when they are adults.
Are you a yeller? A reformed yeller? What do you think about this study?
Source: http://news.yahoo.com/more-teens-yelled-worse-behave-121348201.html
Posted by Diamonte Walker