Is K. Michelle Right? Can a Woman Raise a Man?

In reality, the question is irrelevant. Because we already are. Single sistahs rise and set everyday with the responsibility of raising a man on her shoulders. Whether it's her son, a significant other who just won't do right or a daughter who is smarter than her father. Women in the Black community are raising men everyday. Unfortunately, the leftovers of slavery has left us with a hell of a clean-up on our hands.

Our men are often irresponsible and plain oblivious to the issues we are dealing with on a day-to-day basis. So unfortunately, the question is not whether or not we can raise a man. The question now becomes are we willing to try? A good friend of mines, gave me a great perspective on how Black women should view their relationship (regardless of the status) with Black men.

She says that from an African perspective men are the protectors of women. and we must prepare them for their responsibility. When you think about the reproductive process, men and women are carrying eggs. Men think they are carrying sperm ( and to some degree they are), but in reality their sperm does not take on a gender until they join or become one with the female egg during the reproductive process. So, as a woman who possess a sense of protection and degree of maternal instinct from birth, it is your job to prepare him to protect your eggs, or offspring. Long story short, women raise men by upping their standards and making them accountable.

That's right. If you want to raise a son who is a role model in the community, there is no time off when he gets home from school. They have a snack and then chores rule the day. I have three boys so our motto for 2014 is "Until its DONE." That means WE clean the house, WE cook dinner, WE raise the standards of our household. My sons range in age from 4 to 12 and when I say its time for Rule No. 1 they all know what it means. And the same goes for my husband. Mommys, if you want to make the men around you the standard for great Black men then realize there is surely a time for gracefulness and nurturing, but there is equally a time to bitch. Stop repeating yourself 7 times before he gets things done. Let the men around you know that the B.S. stops here. They need to understand there is either a negative or positive consequence for EVERY action. Remember you are a queen.

I read a Native American proverb that said the sole job of the woman is to lead the man to the source and the sole job of the man is to protect and serve the woman so that she can walk the Earth unharmed. Mommys, the whole world is in your womb. Is it ironic, or telling, that a woman's body literally acts just like the earth. It has seasons, it cleans itself, it births life and in the cold of winter she is downright nasty. Well, brown mommys we are in the winter of life. Our boys still fill up jails, and too many of our homes are fatherless.  So being realistic, our men are not in a great place right now. But, that's why God made you the source and not him.  The universe has prepared you for such a season, and I believe it is our job to put him back on the throne by showing him there is only one way back to the source.  And that way consist of respect, love, accountability and consideration.

So it's time to woman up and show K. Michelle that she can raise a GREAT man because African women are bred for such an occasion.