Who's really being hurt by the Dwyane and Gabby controversy?
When Dwyane Wade's much publicized divorce was in the news, I often thought about his children and I wondered if he had them going to therapy to deal with the repercussion of having their family dissolve in such a public way. Now with the news that Dwyane fathered another child while on a break from his girlfriend, now fiancé, Gabrielle Union, I have to wonder again about his children's mental health. Perhaps it's because we have gotten so used athlete misbehavior or divorce but I've yet to read an article that talks about the impact the new baby maybe having on Dwyane's young children.
A new study has found that divorce impacts children more than parents realize. When asked, two-thirds of children claimed that their parents' divorce had devastated them whereas only 77% of parents felt the divorce had any effect on their kids. Talk about a disconnect.
Although we want to believe that our love life has no effect on our kids, extensive studies on infidelity and divorce prove others. According to the research:
"People don’t just betray their partners when they shatter family life with a serious affair — the sad truth is that their children grow up believing their parents have been unfaithful to them, too."
What's more the effects of divorce and infidelity causes long-term effects on a child's psychological health including "low self-esteem, a sense of being abandoned, poor performance at school, anti-social behaviour and the heartbreak of simply missing the absent parent." Furthermore, divorce and infidelity affect their ability to be in healthy relationships:
"An acrimonious divorce, according to research, doesn’t simply hurt children at the time; it can also store up problems for their future. So, even if their parents separated when they were small, they won’t necessarily suffer the full effects until they become adults themselves. It can contribute to their own marital problems — including affairs of their own — or hamper their ability to form lasting relationships. "
The research and the words of the children themselves are indisputable. If I were Gabrielle Union's friend, I would tell her to leave Dwyane for his children's sake. His children needed his undivided attention after the break-up of their family and even more now that their father has fathered a child while "on a break" from a woman who seems to have become their mother figure. As for Dwyane, I would love for him to hear what these celebrities had to say about their own parent's divorce:
Nicole Richie
AP
“When my dad divorced my mom it was kind of like him leaving me also,” Richie said.
Justin Timberlake
Getty Images
“My parents divorced when I was three. I’m humbly and honestly finding out that I have a lot of issues with that," Timberlake said.
Isla Fisher
Getty Images
"You can't underestimate how traumatic divorce is for the children. When your parents divorce, it makes you grow up fast. I'd urge parents to strongly consider working things out. I'd work things out and I'd definitely stay put. Especially if there were babies involved," Fisher said.
Corinne Bailey Rae
AP
"My parents divorced when I was a teenager. As the eldest of three sisters, I was my mom's confidante. You grow up fast working out how something went wrong," Rae said.
Justin Bieber
Getty Images
"My parents splitting up is definitely not one of the highlights of my life," Bieber said. "It's sad, the kid experiences feeling like one of his parents left."
Question: Do you think Gabby should leave for the children's sake?
Yardyspice